Do yo think that turning point in a person\'s life is really needed for him/her to grow?

2019-11-21 · 첨삭 강사 Annie

학생이 쓴 원문

I attended the university where I didn\'t want to enter. The major was not the one I would like to study too. So I rarely attended the class and didn\'t prepare for the semester exam well. I could not get nice scores from the exam and it didn\'t meet the minimum requirements for the graduation. I went to the army for fulfilling military duty. I didn\'t know it would be my turning point in my life. I served as a military police. My unit didn\'t have a lot of training so senior groups tended to bully their juniors in the room by various ways. I was also the one who were bullied from seniors. I couldn\'t stand what seniors did. I tried to adapt the life in the army and finally, became a sergeant which is the highest class in the soldiers. I realized that I needed to prepare for my further that would be after discharge in the army. So I studied my major and English a lot whenever I had a free time. As a result, I got pretty good score on the regular exam in the university and could graduate fr

강사 첨삭


Hello Mr.[이름] ,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 
Keep up the good work! 

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Do you think that turning point in a person\\\'s life is really a needed for him/her to grow?

I attended the university where I didn\'t want to enter. 
>>> I attended a university that I didn\'t want to in the first place.

The major was not the one I would like to study too. 
>>> CORRECT 

So I rarely attended the class and didn\'t prepare for the semester exam well.
>>> So I rarely attended my classes and don\'t prepare for the semester exams that well.

I could not get nice scores from the exam and it didn\'t meet the minimum requirements for the graduation.
>>> I could not get nice scores from my exams and it didn\'t meet the minimum requirements for graduation.

I went to the army for fulfilling military duty. 
>>> I went to the army to fulfill my military duty.

I didn\'t know it would be my turning point in my life. 
>>> CORRECT 

I served as a military police.
>>> CORRECT 

My unit didn\'t have a lot of training so senior groups tended to bully their juniors in the room by various ways.
>>> My unit didn\'t have a lot of training so the seniors tends to bully their juniors in a room in various ways.

I was also the one who were bullied from seniors. 
>>> I was also one of those who were bullied by my seniors.

I couldn\'t stand what seniors did. 
>>> CORRECT 
OR: I couldn\'t stand what seniors did that time.

I tried to adapt the life in the army and finally, became a sergeant which is the highest class in the soldiers.
>>> I tried to adopt to the life in the army and finally I became a sergeant which is the highest class rank for the soldiers.

I realized that I needed to prepare for my further that would be after discharge in the army. 
>>> I realized that I needed to prepare for my future after I\'ll be discharged from the army.

So I studied my major and English a lot whenever I had a free time. 
>>> So I studied my major and English a lot whenever I had free time.

As a result, I got pretty good score on the regular exam in the university and could graduate fr
>>> As a result, I got pretty good score on the regular exam in the university and I was able to graduate. 

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