Do you agree that casual clothes can help students express themselves better?
학생이 쓴 원문
When we walk on the street, we can find various people wearing different clothes. Clothes show their personalities well. So, some of them tell wearing whatever they want even in school is important for freedom. But, I think they can wear casual clothes in weekends. It is enough to express themselves. Most teenagers cares surrounding environment too much. They wonder and worry about how do they look like. Someone will wear expensive and fancy clothes but, someone won\'t. Furthermore, some students who are raised by grandparents or busy parents, their appearances are obviously different with others. Rather giving them freedom, helping them get along with each other as same students is important and essential. And, students will just focus on freedom and the teachers will be hard to control them when they wear indecent ones. For these reasons, wearing uniforms is better than letting them wear clothes freely, There are lots of ways to express oneself.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for this Mary!
When we walk on the street, we can find various people wearing different clothes.
>>> correct
Clothes show their personalities well.
>>> correct
So, some of them tell wearing whatever they want even in school is important for freedom.
>>> correct
But, I think they can wear casual clothes in weekends.
>>> correct
>>> OR: But, I think they can wear casual clothes on the weekends.
It is enough to express themselves.
>>> correct
Most teenagers cares surrounding environment too much.
>>> Most teenagers care about their surrounding environment too much.
They wonder and worry about how do they look like.
>>> correct
Someone will wear expensive and fancy clothes but, someone won\'t.
>>> correct
Furthermore, some students who are raised by grandparents or busy parents, their appearances are obviously different with others.
>>> correct
Rather giving them freedom, helping them get along with each other as same students is important and essential.
>>> Rather than giving them freedom, helping them get along with each other as same students is important and essential.
And, students will just focus on freedom and the teachers will be hard to control them when they wear indecent ones.
>>> And, students will just focus on freedom and the teachers will have a hard time to control them when they wear indecent ones.
For these reasons, wearing uniforms is better than letting them wear clothes freely.
>>> correct
There are lots of ways to express oneself.
>>> correct
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