Do you agree that money makes the world go around? Explain your answer.
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t know that it is good thing or bad thing but I think money makes the world go around.
If there is no money in this world, it will be very confusing and the law will be collapsed.
A lot of systems will be collapsed and many kinds of problems about morality will occured by many people.
So I think money is the base of a lot of systems, and it keeps the world strongly.
But sometimes, some people use this thing to the bad side.
Some people try to hide somethings evil with money.
And also some people do crime because of money.
So I think some parts of the fact that money makes the world go around are not really good.
But money is very systematic system and we have to keep it for the next generation.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]:)
Money is very important in our lives but we shouldn\'t let it control us, especially our happiness. :)
Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.
I don\'t know that it is good thing or bad thing but I think money makes the world go around.
>> I don\'t know if that is a good thing or bad thing but I think money makes the world go around.
If there is no money in this world, it will be very confusing and the law will be collapsed.
>> If there is no money in this world, it will be very confusing and the law will collapse.
A lot of systems will be collapsed and many kinds of problems about morality will occured by many people.
>> A lot of systems will be collapse and many kinds of problems about morality will occur to many people.
So I think money is the base of a lot of systems, and it keeps the world strongly.
>> So I think money is the base of a lot of systems, and it keeps the world strong.
But sometimes, some people use this thing to the bad side.
>> But sometimes, people use it in a bad way.
Some people try to hide somethings evil with money.
>> Some people try to hide bad things with money.
And also some people do crime because of money.
>> And some people also do crime because of money.
So I think some parts of the fact that money makes the world go around are not really good.
>> So I think in some parts, money does make the world go around.
But money is very systematic system and we have to keep it for the next generation.
>> Money is very systematic and we need to take care of it for the next generations.
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