Do you agree that success changes people?
학생이 쓴 원문
I have two different ideas regarding this topic.In a good way,they would learn many lessons through their amazing success that they have never faced. It would make them more widen their business and find a way to be more successful. That means it smoothes the way that they can overcome in front of hurdle because they already master the way of thinking and leading the solution. but on the other hands, for example we do know many celebrities such as actor and singer, in Korea , it is quite common to be star just overnight because of their behavior or some word which is repeated by people. Let us think about this proble, do you really think it is a success? Generally, it is sort of success that we can refer to, but they haven't learned to be humble and polite. They turn into totally different people being rude. They look down on other people thinking that they are inferior. So in summary, i would like to define real success man is a person who is humble with good ability.
강사 첨삭
Good evening, [이름]!
Happy Wednesday. ^^
I am glad that you are doing great today.I was so happy when I heard the good news from you.
I am sure that you will be really comfortable living in Australia. ^^
You did a wonderful job with your homework. ^^
However, there are instances wherein you interchange some words that leads to a different meaning.
And try to avoid going around the bush when explaining. I know you can make simpler and more comprehensive sentences.I am here for you. ^^ See you,
Good night.
Teacher Nina
I have two different ideas regarding this topic.
>> correct
In a good way,they would learn many lessons through their amazing success that they have never faced.
>> correct
It would make them more widen their business and find a way to be more successful.
>> Did you mean: It would help them widen their business and find a way to be more successful.
>> OR: It would help them expand their business and find a way to be more successful.
That means it smoothes the way that they can overcome in front of hurdle because they already master the way of thinking and leading the solution.
>> Did you mean: That means it smoothes the way that they can overcome the hurdles because they already mastered the way of thinking and finding a solution.
but on the other hands, for example we do know many celebrities such as actor and singer, in Korea , it is quite common to be star just overnight because of their behavior or some word which is repeated by people.
>> Did you mean: But on the other hand, fit is different. For example we do know many celebrities such as actors and singers in Korea because of their behavior or some words or expressions that are repeated and done by people.
Let us think about this proble, do you really think it is a success?
>> Let us think about this problem, do you really think it is a success? ( Don\'t forget your article ^^)
Generally, it is sort of success that we can refer to, but they haven\'t learned to be humble and polite.
>> correct
They turn into totally different people being rude.
>> They turn into a totally different people such as being rude. ( Don\'t forget your article ^^)
>> OR: They turn into a rude people. ( You can just make it into a simple sentence ^^)
They look down on other people thinking that they are inferior.
>> They look down on other people thinking that they are superior. ( Superior means higher than others. ^^)
So in summary, i would like to define real success man is a person who is humble with good ability.
>> In conclusion, I would like to define a real succesful man is a person who his humble with good abilities. ( You are going to conclude at the part, don\'t forget your article. ^^)
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