Do you agree that the police should be held accountable for what happened in Itaewon? Why or why not
학생이 쓴 원문
I agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day. That\'s because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top. The police couldn\'t command orders without the top dogs\' permission.
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission. One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected. he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation. However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.
강사 첨삭
Good day, Miss [이름]!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. CamilleI agree that the not only police but also government should also be held accountable for what happened that day.
>> CORRECT! That\'s because the police are not at the level to make decisions in the bureaucracy, which means following the orders from the top.
>> CORRECT! The police couldn\'t command orders without the top dogs\' permission.
>> CORRECT!
In addition, that day they had special order from the ministers for checking drug users, so they focused on the mission.
>> CORRECT! One policeman working in that district recognized the heavy crowd and asked to send more policemen there, but his requisitions were neglected.
>> CORRECT! he must have been there and known the seriousness of the situation.
>> CORRECT! However, nobody tried to listen to him, and the tragedy and crowd crush happened at the speed of blinking eyes.
>> CORRECT!
In conclusion, the government must say sorry to the victims and they blame themselves for their negligence, laziness, and ignorance.
>> CORRECT!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.