Do you always wear sunscreen when you go out to do daily activity? Are cosmetic products you use saf
학생이 쓴 원문
I do not usually apply sunblock, but I do when I go out to do activity more than 3 hours or do sport in the mid-summer.
There are a few reasons.
First, Caucasian is weak against diseases related to sun exposure such as Melanoma, but Asian has less risk of those disease than Caucasian. Second, sun exposure is good way to get a vitamin D naturally. Modern people living in the city suffer from deficiency of Vitamin D. It causes to osteoporosis and depression when people become old. People want to keep their skin white so put sunscreen on a face, arm and neck all the time. Ironically, they administrate a vitamin D supplement.
I have no idea about cosmetic products which are environment friendly. But I have heard many cosmetic products are tested to check safety by animals especially rabbits.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
You are very cautious in making sentences about the given topic.
However, please look for some minor corrections below.
Here are the corrections.
I do not usually apply sunblock, but I do when I go out to do activity more than 3 hours or do sport in the mid-summer.
>> I do not usually apply sunblock, but I do when I go out to do my activities for more than 3 hours, or do sports in the mid-summer.
First, Caucasian is weak against diseases related to sun exposure such as Melanoma, but Asian has less risk of those disease than Caucasian. >> First, Caucasian is weak against diseases related to sun exposure, such as Melanoma, but Asian has less risk of those diseases than Caucasian.
Second, sun exposure is good way to get a vitamin D naturally.
>> Second, sun exposure is a good way to get vitamin D naturally.
Modern people living in the city suffer from deficiency of Vitamin D.
>> Perfect!
It causes to osteoporosis and depression when people become old.
>> It causes osteoporosis and depression when people become old.
People want to keep their skin white so put sunscreen on a face, arm and neck all the time.
>> People want to keep their skin white so, they put sunscreen on their face, arms and neck all the time.
Ironically, they administrate a vitamin D supplement.
>> Ironically, they assimilate vitamin D.
I have no idea about cosmetic products which are environment friendly.
>> Perfect!
But I have heard many cosmetic products are tested to check safety by animals especially rabbits.
>> But, I have heard many cosmetic products are tested to check their safety by animals especially rabbits.
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