Do you like any foreign celebrities\'?
학생이 쓴 원문
Well, actually, I don\'t know much about foreign celebrities. But there are some artists who I haved liked since I was middle school student.
First is Lauv. I love listening his music because of its melody. The mood of his music is definitely attractive.
Next is Yuika, a Japanese artist. I find her music interesting because of her voice. Her music gives me pleasure, happiness, and conziness.
In a word, I think I tend to find music appealing when it comes to atmosphere and vocal skill which I can be absorbed into.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Su In! You did a great job explaining your preferences and giving clear reasons, which is excellent for IELTS. To reach Band 7.0, focus on correcting small grammar mistakes (like verb forms and missing prepositions) and try to use more varied vocabulary and linking phrases to make your ideas flow more naturally.
~T. Jenna
Well, actually, I don\'t know much about foreign celebrities. But there are some artists who I haved liked since I was middle school student.
>>Well, actually, I don\'t know much about foreign celebrities, but there are some artists I have liked since I was a middle school student.
First is Lauv. I love listening his music because of its melody.
>>First is Lauv. I love listening to his music because of its melody.
The mood of his music is definitely attractive.
Correct, or
>>I find the overall vibe of his music very appealing.
Next is Yuika, a Japanese artist.
Next is Yuika, a Japanese artist.
Correct, or
>>I also relish listening to Yuika, a Japanese artist
I find her music interesting because of her voice.
Correct, or
>>Her voice is the reason I find her music so captivating.
Her music gives me pleasure, happiness, and conziness.
>>Her music gives me pleasure, happiness, and coziness.
>>Her music gives me pleasure, happiness, and coziness.
In a word, I think I tend to find music appealing when it comes to atmosphere and vocal skill which I can be absorbed into.
>>In short, I think I find music appealing when it has atmosphere and vocal skill which I can be absorbed in.
OR
>>Overall, I tend to be drawn to music that combines atmosphere with strong vocal skills, because it allows me to feel fully absorbed in the sound.
***
To be honest, I’m not very familiar with many foreign celebrities, but there are a couple of artists I’ve liked since I was in middle school. One of them is Lauv. I enjoy listening to his music because of its beautiful melodies, and the mood of his songs is always very captivating. Another artist I admire is Yuika, a Japanese singer. I find her music appealing mainly because of her unique voice, which brings me a sense of comfort and happiness. In general, I think I’m most attracted to music that combines atmosphere with strong vocal skills, because that allows me to really lose myself in the sound.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.