Do you like going to the beach? Why or Why not?
학생이 쓴 원문
Beach is known as a place which makes people relieved and get rid of their stress.
And we can find the beach easily in the South Korea.
In modern society, people are constantly getting stress from their workplace or making their state tense.
Nowadays, many people try to spend their vacation at the beach.
As i am a member of modern society, i like going to the beach.
First of all, Beach is good place to socialize.
Socializing can make people happier and less stressful than normal life.
For example, i was stressed by lots of work to do and orders by superior.
So, i\'ve been to Gangneung during semester.
I met lots of people similar with my circumstance and hanging around with them.
It refresh me and i can concentrate to my job again because of visiting beach.
Second, there are many delicious restaurant near the beach.
Eating delicious food make people energetic and happier.
By this people can concentrate to their normal life and do their work better by visiting beach.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for doing your homework. ^^
In modern society, people are constantly getting stress from their workplace or making their state tense.
Nowadays, many people try to spend their vacation at the beach.
Socializing can make people happier and less stressful than normal life.
For example, i was stressed by lots of work to do and orders by superior.
So, i\'ve been to Gangneung during semester.
I met lots of people similar with my circumstance and hanging around with them.
It refresh me and i can concentrate to my job again because of visiting beach.
>>It refreshed me and I can concentrate on my job again because of visiting the beach.
Second, there are many delicious restaurant near the beach.
Eating delicious food make people energetic and happier.
By this people can concentrate to their normal life and do their work better by visiting beach.
>>By this people can concentrate on their normal lives and do their work better by visiting the beach.
Beach is known as a place which makes people relieved and get rid of their stress.
>>The beach is known as a place which makes people relieved and get rid of their stress.
And we can find the beach easily in the South Korea.
>>And we can find the beach easily in South Korea.
In modern society, people are constantly getting stress from their workplace or making their state tense.
>>CORRECT
Nowadays, many people try to spend their vacation at the beach.
>>CORRECT
As i am a member of modern society, i like going to the beach.
>>CORRECT
First of all, Beach is good place to socialize.
As i am a member of modern society, i like going to the beach.
>>CORRECT
First of all, Beach is good place to socialize.
>>First of all, the beach is a good place to socialize.
Socializing can make people happier and less stressful than normal life.
>>CORRECT
For example, i was stressed by lots of work to do and orders by superior.
>>For example, I was stressed by lots of work to do and orders from my superior.
So, i\'ve been to Gangneung during semester.
>>So, I\'ve been to Gangneung during semester.
I met lots of people similar with my circumstance and hanging around with them.
>>I met lots of people with similar circumstances and I\'ve been hanging around with them.
It refresh me and i can concentrate to my job again because of visiting beach.
>>It refreshed me and I can concentrate on my job again because of visiting the beach.
Second, there are many delicious restaurant near the beach.
>>Second, there are many restaurants near the beach.
Eating delicious food make people energetic and happier.
>>CORRECT
By this people can concentrate to their normal life and do their work better by visiting beach.
>>By this people can concentrate on their normal lives and do their work better by visiting the beach.
NOTE:
Capital letter I
i - I
i\'ve - I\'ve
Capital letter I
i - I
i\'ve - I\'ve
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