Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of growing up?

2021-03-09 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of growing up? I don\'t think that bullying is not part of growing up, it is a crime. For example, Some sport stars and enterainer were bullying at a school. They have terminated their activity. Theseday, bullying is becoming a serious issue on our country.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! I feel the same way. Victims of bullying get hurt no only physically but mentally as well. They should put a stop to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I don\'t think that bullying is not part of growing up, it is a crime.
>> I don\'t think that bullying is a part of growing up, it is a crime. 

For example, Some sport stars and enterainer were bullying at a school.
For example, some sport stars and entertainers get bullied when they were still studying. 

They have terminated their activity. 
>> This causes them to terminate their activities. 

Theseday, bullying is becoming a serious issue on our country.
>> These days, bullying had become a very serious in our country. 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·