Do you think children are spoilt nowadays?

2020-02-19 · 첨삭 강사 Dee

학생이 쓴 원문

I agree that children are somehow being spoilt nowadays compared to those in the past. I think there are several factors which lead to the children\\\'s spoilt behaviors. First of all, the only-child kids are very common in Korean society. The low fertility rate is a serious social issue, and more and more couples are having less-than-one kid in their familly. This leads to the concentration of the parent\\\'s attention to the only-child and makes them feel they are \\\"the one and the most important\\\" person in the society. This can make children feel confident on themselves but also make them less considerate of other people. Secondly, children thesedays are exposed to smartphones in the early age. When parents are having difficulties handling their kids, they show the video clips on their smartphones to let them pay attention. It will be alright for some times but if that continues, the children can be addicted to smartphones and even affect to their behaviors as well.

강사 첨삭

Hello Ye Ji! I think that you have a good observation. I hope that despite these realities, the children could still become responsible citizens in the future. ~~T.Dee

I agree that children are somehow being spoilt nowadays compared to those in the past.
>>CORRECT!
I think there are several factors which lead to the children\\\'s spoilt behaviors.
>>I think there are several factors which lead to the children\'s spoilt behaviors.
First of all, the only-child kids are very common in Korean society. 
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: First of all, having an only-child is very common in Korean society. 
The low fertility rate is a serious social issue, and more and more couples are having less-than-one kid in their familly. 
>>CORRECT!
This leads to the concentration of the parent\\\'s attention to the only-child and makes them feel they are \\\"the one and the most important\\\" person in the society. 
>>This leads to the concentration of the parent\'s attention to the only-child and it makes them feel they are \"the one and the most important\" persons in the society. 
This can make children feel confident on themselves but also make them less considerate of other people.
>>This can make children feel confident about themselves but also it make them less considerate of other people.
Secondly, children these days are exposed to smartphones in the early age.
>>CORRECT!
When parents are having difficulties handling their kids, they show the video clips on their smartphones to let them pay attention. 
>>When parents are having difficulties handling their kids, they show the video clips on their smartphones to divert their attention. 
It will be alright for some times but if that continues, the children can be addicted to smartphones and even affect to their behaviors as well.
>>It will be alright to do sometimes but if that continues, the children can be addicted to smartphones and it could even affect to their behaviors as well.

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