Do you think every country should depend on tourism?
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t think that every country have to depend on tourism. Tourisom can help to earn money, to make a job position, and improve the image of the country. Especially, it can be an important economic resource in countries reach in natural enviroment and history.
However, if the country depends on tourism too much, it can be vulnerable from external sources. For example, if an infectious disease causes, the number of tourists will be decreased. Therefore, balancing between technology and tourism is more safe and sustainable.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Mary! You presented a balanced and logical argument by explaining both the benefits and risks of depending on tourism. Your examples were clear and realistic. To improve, focus on verb forms, spelling accuracy, and natural expressions. Overall, your reasoning is strong and well-organized, great work!
-Teacher Wela
I don\'t think that every country have to depend on tourism.
>> I don’t think that every country has to depend on tourism.
Tourisom can help to earn money, to make a job position, and improve the image of the country.
>> Tourism can help generate income, create jobs, and improve the country’s image.
Especially, it can be an important economic resource in countries reach in natural enviroment and history.
>> Especially, it can be an important economic resource in countries rich in natural environments and history.
However, if the country depends on tourism too much, it can be vulnerable from external sources.
>> However, if a country depends too much on tourism, it can become vulnerable to external factors.
For example, if an infectious disease causes, the number of tourists will be decreased.
>> For example, if an infectious disease occurs, the number of tourists will decrease.
Therefore, balancing between technology and tourism is more safe and sustainable.
>> Therefore, maintaining a balance between technology and tourism is safer and more sustainable.
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