Do you think it is important for men to join the military service in South Korea? Why or why not?
학생이 쓴 원문
Yes, I do. It is very important because that is the law. So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it. I don\'t like demanding men to join the military. However, the war didn\'t end. We don\'t know when the war end and begin again. So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place. I\'m very thankful to them. I hope that they can be rewarded.
강사 첨삭
Hi Kimberly!
Yes, people feel uneasy about war. The country would benefit from this a lot but sometimes it also has some disadvantages.
Yes, I do.
>> CORRECT
It is very important because that is the law.
>> CORRECT
So, if someone break the rule, he must be going to take responsibility for it.
>>So if someone breaks the rule, he must take responsibilities for his actions.
I don\'t like demanding men to join the military.
>> CORRECT
However, the war didn\'t end.
>> However, the war hasn\'t ended yet.
We don\'t know when the war end and begin again.
>> We don\'t know when the war will begin and end again.
So, Koreans feel anxious but, thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place.
>> Koreans feel anxious about it. Thanks to armies, air forces and navies, Koreans can live in safer place.
I\'m very thankful to them.
>> CORRECT
I hope that they can be rewarded.
>> CORRECT
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.