Do you think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful?

2020-02-24 · 첨삭 강사 Avery

학생이 쓴 원문

I think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful. Most people like good looking people. Beautiful or handsome face is necessary not only for the actors, but also for the entertainers. I have seen an entertainer at the special event. He is a celebrity who goes advantures to the jungle. Therefore, I thought it is not necessary having good looking face for entertainers except the actors. However, my thought has been definitely changed after meeting him. He looked ugly on the TV, but he seemed not that ugly in reality. In addition, I could recognize that he had plastic surgery on his nose. From then, I found that most celebrities had plastic surgery once at least and that let them be celebrities. To conclude, I think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful though it\'s wrong to judge people with their appearances.

강사 첨삭

Hello there, cutie [이름]! How has your day been? I hope you\'re feeling fantastic! 
I appreciate your entry. We\'ll talk about this further in class. See you, smarty pants! ^_^
~T.Avery
I think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful. 
>>CORRECT
Most people like good looking people. 
>>CORRECT
OR>>Most people admire good-looking celebrities.
Beautiful or handsome face is necessary not only for the actors, but also for the entertainers. 
>> Having a beautiful or handsome face is necessary not only for the actors, but also for the entertainers.
I have seen an entertainer at the special event. 
>>CORRECT
He is a celebrity who goes advantures to the jungle.
>>He is a celebrity who goes on adventures in the jungle.
Therefore, I thought it is not necessary having good looking face for entertainers except the actors. 
>> CORRECT
However, my thought has been definitely changed after meeting him.
>> CORRECT
He looked ugly on the TV, but he seemed not that ugly in reality.
>>CORRECT
OR>> He looked ugly on TV, but he seemed decent in reality.
In addition, I could recognize that he had plastic surgery on his nose. 
>>CORRECT
From then, I found that most celebrities had plastic surgery once at least and that let them be celebrities. 
>>CORRECT
To conclude, I think it\'s necessary to have plastic surgery if you are famous in order to be successful though it\'s wrong to judge people with their appearances.
>>CORRECT

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