Do you think it\'s necessary to move out of your parents house once you have a job? Why or why not?

2021-08-04 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

I don\'t think that I have to move out from my parents house but if I got a job, I will move to my own house. A person has his / her own individuality and personality. And because of that, if 2 people or more live in one house, they can cause collision because they are different person. So if I live with my parents, I think I\'ll do not cause it often but the collision between me and my parents can be caused. Because of that, I think it is better to live alone, and actually, I just want to live alone.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! ^^

Moving away from home is considered a milestone in one’s life, an event that clearly marks the stepping out of childhood into maturity and designates the beginning of an independent, self-reliant life. Once you move out of your parents’ house, you will have the liberty to make your own choices and enjoy the lifestyle you’ve always wanted for yourself. However, you will also have the responsibility to provide for your own needs, to find a way out of every difficult situation you encounter, and to create a life for yourself that is vibrant, progressive, and genuinely fulfilled.

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon.

 I don\'t think that I have to move out from my parents house but if I got a job, I will move to my own house.
>>CORRECT

A person has his / her own individuality and personality.
>> CORRECT

And because of that, if 2 people or more live in one house, they can cause collision because they are different person.
>> If 2 people or more live in one house, they can cause collision because they have different personalities.

So if I live with my parents, I think I\'ll do not cause it often but the collision between me and my parents can be caused.
>>So if I live with my parents, I think I will not cause collision between me and my parents.

Because of that, I think it is better to live alone, and actually, I just want to live alone.
>>Because of that, I think it is better to live alone. Actually, I just want to live alone.

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