Do you think music can influence people’s emotions or behavior? Give an example.
학생이 쓴 원문
I think music can influence people\'s emotions. If we listen to bright music when we feel depress, our mind goes better without any reason. So we can listen exciting music when we want to engage our mind. For example, when I go to excercise, I heard EDM for engaging myself. On the other hand, when we feel too complicated listening calm music can help us to relax. So I usually take a walk and listen calm music when I have a lot of thinking and need to arrange them.
강사 첨삭
You did a great job explaining your opinion and giving clear, personal examples. Your ideas were easy to follow, and your use of contrast (bright music vs. calm music) made your answer stronger. To improve, focus on small grammar points like verb forms (depress - depressed), using correct prepositions (listen to), and choosing more natural expressions (mood instead of mind). Overall, this is a well-organized and thoughtful response, keep practicing and your writing will become even more natural and confident.
-Teacher Wela
I think music can influence people\'s emotions.
>> I think music can influence people’s emotions.
>> I think music can influence people’s emotions.
If we listen to bright music when we feel depress, our mind goes better without any reason.
>> If we listen to bright music when we feel depressed, our mood improves without any specific reason.
So we can listen exciting music when we want to engage our mind.
>> So we can listen to exciting music when we want to energize our minds.
For example, when I go to excercise, I heard EDM for engaging myself.
>> For example, when I exercise, I listen to EDM to motivate myself.
On the other hand, when we feel too complicated listening calm music can help us to relax.
>> On the other hand, when we feel mentally overwhelmed, listening to calm music can help us relax.
So I usually take a walk and listen calm music when I have a lot of thinking and need to arrange them.
>> So I usually take a walk and listen to calm music when I have many thoughts and need to organize them.
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