Do you think parents must set time limits for their children to use mobile applications? What type o

2021-12-02 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

It is the most serious problem that children have these days. The amount of screen time that teenagers spend every day is a lot. Children easily don\'t feel bored using devices due to a lot of contents such as games, videos and comic books. Many parents have concern of restriction. There are many ways to limit children\'s data consumption. However, children can use WI-FI in most places, even in public transportation. I am not sure if restriction works for juveniles, although parents manage their children\'s data packages. Nevertheless, it has a problem to manage data usages, I agree to set time limits for them because there are a lot of side effects, if children use mobile devices too much time. They might have psychological disease due to virtual spaces on the internet. It is also possible that children can\'t tell what is real life. In conclusion, It is essential to restrict time for children to keep their health.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Mr. [이름]! I\'m sorry about yesterday! I was having migraine and couldn\'t sleep well the other night so I decided to take a leave! Anyway, I know you always enjoy your time with a substitute teacher!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
It is the most serious problem that children have these days.
>>> CORRECT
 The amount of screen time that teenagers spend every day is a lot. 
>>>  The time spend by teenagers on their screen is too much. 
Children easily don\'t feel bored using devices due to a lot of contents such as games, videos and comic books.
>>> CORRECT
 Many parents have concerns of restriction. 
>>> CORRECT
There are many ways to limit children\'s data consumption.
>>> CORRECT
 However, children can use WI-FI in most places, even in public transportation.
>>> CORRECT
 I am not sure if restriction works for juveniles, although parents manage their children\'s data packages.
>>> CORRECT
 Nevertheless, it has a problem to manage data usages, I agree to set time limits for them because there are a lot of side effects, if children use mobile devices too much.
>>> CORRECT
 They might have psychological diseases due to virtual spaces on the internet. 
>>> CORRECT
It is also possible that children can\'t tell what is real life. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, It is essential to restrict time for children to keep their health.
>>> In conclusion, it is essential to restrict  the time of mobile use for children to keep their health.

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