Do you think parties are fun even without alcohol? Why?

2025-02-27 · 첨삭 강사 Lia

학생이 쓴 원문

When I had dinner meetings with my staffs, I had several meetings with their husbands too. At that time, a staff\'s husband complained to his wife before the meeting. \"We have to drink if we are going to get together and talk. How can we talk without drinking?\" However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he found out that men were able to talk well without drinking. When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes blurred and they follow the party atmosphere. Many men\'s mistakes happen in the atmosphere of drinking. Rather, if we talk while drinking coffee, we can organize and deliver our honest stories, listen to others better, and eventually get to know each other better. We can talk and laugh together while listening to music. What a party it is?

강사 첨삭

Hi David, you did an excellent job of clearly expressing your ideas! You made a powerful point about drinking culture and social relationships in your response. For more fluid wording and natural viewpoints, I made a few adjustments. Overall, it was impressive. Keep it up!

~ T. Lia

When I had dinner meetings with my staffs, I had several meetings with their husbands too.
>> When I had dinner meetings with my staff, I also had several meetings with their husbands.


At that time, a staff\'s husband complained to his wife before the meeting.
>> At that time, one of my staff member’s husbands complained to his wife before the meeting.


\"We have to drink if we are going to get together and talk. How can we talk without drinking?\"
>> CORRECT


However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he found out that men were able to talk well without drinking.
>> However, after the meeting, he told his wife that he realized men could have meaningful conversations without drinking.


When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes blurred and they follow the party atmosphere.
>> When people drink alcohol, their judgment becomes impaired, and they tend to follow the party atmosphere.


Many men\'s mistakes happen in the atmosphere of drinking.
>> Many mistakes made by men occur in drinking environments.


Rather, if we talk while drinking coffee, we can organize and deliver our honest stories, listen to others better, and eventually get to know each other better.
>> Instead, if we talk over coffee, we can express our thoughts more clearly, listen to others better, and ultimately get to know each other more deeply.


We can talk and laugh together while listening to music.
>> CORRECT


What a party it is?
>> What a party it is! 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·