Do you think people can stay healthy without exercising if they eat well?
학생이 쓴 원문
I think exercising is necessary to stay healthy. If we\'re in teenagers, we maybe don\'t need to care exercising because teenagers have a lot of activities in daily and their bodies are healthy enough. However, when we get older, our physical health become worse. If we work all day in front of the desk and don\'t do any stretching or exercising, our back won\'t hold up and going worse. In my cases, I studied all day long in both my high school and university. But, only in my twentites, I was sick due to stress and over-work. Therefore, before we got dieases, we should exercise regularly.
강사 첨삭
Good Morning, Mary! Your explanation was clear and supported by personal experience, which made your opinion more convincing. To improve further, keep working on verb tense consistency and word choice, but overall this was a strong and thoughtful response. Job well done!
-Teacher Wela
-Teacher Wela
If we\'re in teenagers, we maybe don\'t need to care exercising because teenagers have a lot of activities in daily and their bodies are healthy enough.
>> When we are teenagers, we may not need to worry about exercising because we are active in our daily lives and our bodies are healthy enough.
However, when we get older, our physical health become worse.
>> However, when we get older, our physical health becomes worse.
If we work all day in front of the desk and don\'t do any stretching or exercising, our back won\'t hold up and going worse.
>> If we work all day at a desk and do not do any stretching or exercise, our back will not hold up and will gradually get worse.
In my cases, I studied all day long in both my high school and university.
>> In my case, I studied all day long in both high school and university.
But, only in my twentites, I was sick due to stress and over-work.
>> In my twenties, I became sick because of stress and overwork.
Therefore, before we got dieases, we should exercise regularly.
>> Therefore, before we develop diseases, we should exercise regularly.
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