Do you think people should have plastic surgery to enhance their looks?

2023-01-27 · 첨삭 강사 Harmony

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women\'s plastic surgery. Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks? I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others. I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually. As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness? I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women. I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners. I agree with that. I think beauty is only skin deep.

강사 첨삭

Wonderful composition, Steve! It\'s a nicely written essay on the subject. Women, in particular, are expected to contort to society\'s standard of beauty. I commend you for narrowing your statement from beauty in women all the way to the core definition of beauty itself. Asking a question back, or starting your essay with a question, is a clever way of drawing your readers\' attention. :) 
~T.Harmony <3

I want to answer the question by being more focused on women\'s plastic surgery.
>>CORRECT!

Before answering the question, I have a question; why do people want to enhance their looks?
>>CORRECT!
I think people want to be more attractive to others or to appeal to others.
>>CORRECT!
I believe women can be attractive in many ways such as physically, mentally, or even spiritually.
>>CORRECT!
As the old saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
>>CORRECT!
So if you have a prejudice that men only like women with good looks, please reset your perspective on attractiveness. 
>>CORRECT!
Speaking of attractiveness, what is attractiveness?
>>CORRECT!
I want to refer to attractiveness as something needed for a good relationship between people, particularly between men and women.
>>CORRECT!
I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships advised the audience to seek a partner who speaks the same language rather than one with just a nice figure or gorgeous face if they want to live happily with their partners.
>> I remember that one expert on TV about human relationships, who advised the audience...
I agree with that.
>>CORRECT!
I think beauty is only skin deep.
>>CORRECT!

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