Do you think retirement should happen at a fixed age, or should people work as long as they want?

2026-03-05 · 첨삭 강사 Wela

학생이 쓴 원문

If you belong to a company, retirement should happen at a fixed age. But If you have your own business, you can work as long as you want. So I think It\'s important to improve your own skills and grow as an expert. That will make you independent on a company.

강사 첨삭

You shared a practical and balanced opinion by comparing company jobs and personal businesses. Your idea about beco[이름]g independent by improving skills is strong and thoughtful. To improve, focus on capitalization and correct prepositions (independent from). Overall, clear reasoning and good organization, well done!
-Teacher Wela 
If you belong to a company, retirement should happen at a fixed age.
>> If you work for a company, retirement should happen at a fixed age.
But If you have your own business, you can work as long as you want.
>> But if you have your own business, you can work as long as you want.
So I think It\'s important to improve your own skills and grow as an expert.
>> So I think it is important to improve your skills and grow as an expert.
That will make you independent on a company.
>> That will make you independent from a company.

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