Do you think that children these days have a better or worse childhood than your generation? Why?

2022-05-15 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

I can\'t say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. because I know it is a change. now they are not playing outside with their friends. only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have. but at the present. children are online. they are in the internet. their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet. they don\'t want to play and experience something outside. I can\'t blame their life style. it is changing. the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! 

That\'s true. Kids nowadays are so different. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon. 

I can\'t say it is getting worse than my childhood indeed. 
>> I can\'t say that this generation\'s childhood is worse than mine. 

because I know it is a change. 
>> It is because change is constant. 

now they are not playing outside with their friends. 
>> Kids nowadays don\'t play that much with their friends anymore. 

only indoor things such as video games, watching tv. 
>> They do indoor things such as playing video games or watching T.V.

when I was young boy, then I always go out to play with my friends and some older, younger friends. 
>> When I was a young boy, I would usually go outside to play with my friends. Some of them are older and some are younger than me. 

then also I could learn about something happened apart home and my parents. 
>> I could learn a lot of things from outside my house. 

my world were small but there were so many things to I can learn. 
>> My world was small that time but there were so may things that I could learn. 

those thing were not on the textbooks, at the school, at home. those were so special experiences that I could have.
>> Those are the things that we can\'t learn from school, textbooks or our home. Those  are very special experiences that a person can have. 

but at the present 
children are online. 
>> But nowadays, children are always online. 

they are in the internet.
>> They use the internet a lot. 

 their world now is vast but it is only exist in the internet.
>> Their world is bad but only revolves on the internet. 

 they don\'t want to play and experience something outside. 
>> They don\'t want to play and experience things outside. 

I can\'t blame their life style. it is changing. 
>> I can\'t blame their lifestyle. It is changing. 

the thing we need to have is watch the change and trying to understand.
>> The things that we need to do do is adapt to everything and try to understand. 

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