Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

2020-05-19 · 첨삭 강사 Gemma

학생이 쓴 원문

I am not a guy who are familiar with use of social media. However, I always search an information about research papers through internet. Because it is convenient, accurate and the fastest way to get an information. I haven\'t had any trouble of phishing scams but I have seen a lot of news about victims from fraud on internet websites. As every law has a loophole, the usage of social has disadvantages. We have to make a law which prevent the risk of personal information leakage, as well as a mature sense of citizenship. Even though, social media has disadvantages, people might not live without internet. We already adapted well in this environment. I also can\'t imagine the life without it because it has more advantages than disadvantages.

강사 첨삭

GOOD DAY MR. [이름]~! ^^
Thank you for doing your essay. Enjoy your day~! See you tomorrow. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I am not a guy who are familiar with the use of social media.
>>> CORRECT
 However, I always search some information about research papers through internet. 
>>> CORRECT
Because it is convenient, accurate and the fastest way to get an information.
>>> CORRECT
I haven\'t had any trouble of phishing scams but I have seen a lot of news about victims from fraud on internet websites. 
>>> CORRECT
As every law has a loophole, the usage of social has disadvantages. 
>>> CORRECT
We have to make a law which prevent the risk of personal information leakage, as well as a mature sense of citizenship.
>>> CORRECT
Even though, social media has disadvantages, people might not live without internet.
>>> CORRECT
 We already adapted well in this environment.
>>> CORRECT
I also can\'t imagine the life without it because it has more advantages than disadvantages.
>>> CORRECT

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