Do you think there should be more help for beggars, homeless and poor people in your town or city?

2019-10-11 · 첨삭 강사 Ysabelle

학생이 쓴 원문

Supplying help should be different depends on each situations of people. All beggars, homelsee and poor people do not have a same reason why they should be those kinds of people. Some beggars, homeless and poor people might be those person because of unwilling reasons. For example, a person had bankrupped and although he or she tried to start his/her business again, he/she failed again. In this case, he or she had tried to live well and start doing something but he or she did not have a luck. And another example is that poor people who was bone poorly was not educated when he or she was young because his/her family was too poor to educate their children. For him or her to get out of the poor environment, they need to be educated at school. In this case, they should get help from others or organizations. On the other hand, a beggar or homeless has been those kind of person because they do not have a will to be out of those environment. They just depend on others to help them.

강사 첨삭

Hello there So Young!
Thank you for doing your homework !
I also agree. They should do something or get a small job.
I hope you have a productive weekend!
Enjoy your night and see you next week! 
~ T.Ysabelle

Supplying help should be different depends on each situations of people. 
>>Supplying help to people should be different depending on each situation.

All beggars, homelsee and poor people do not have a same reason why they should be those kinds of people. 
>> All the beggars, homeless, and poor people do not have the same reason why they are in their current state.

Some beggars, homeless and poor people might be those person because of unwilling reasons.
>> Some beggars, homeless and poor people might be in those situations because of unwilling reasons.

For example, a person had bankrupped and although he or she tried to start his/her business again, he/she failed again. 
>> For example, a person got bankrupt and although he or she tried to start his/her business again , they failed again.

In this case, he or she had tried to live well and start doing something but he or she did not have a luck. 
>>CORRECT

And another example is that poor people who was bone poorly was not educated when he or she was young because his/her family was too poor to educate their children.
>> Another example is when poor people are born poor and were not educated when he or she was young because his/her family was too poor to educate their children.

 For him or her to get out of the poor environment, they need to be educated at school.
>> For them to get out of their poor living conditions, they need to be educated in school.

 In this case, they should get help from others or organizations.
>>CORRECT

 On the other hand, a beggar or homeless has been those kind of person because they do not have a will to be out of those environment. 
>>On the other hand, a beggar or homeless people are in their current state because they do not have the will to get out of their situation.

They just depend on others to help them.
>>CORRECT

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