Do you think there would be less illness in the future?
학생이 쓴 원문
Yes, absolutely. The study of science technology has developed even now. Therefore, even if there are some illnesses that can\'t be simply solved yet, we are able to expect that they would be coped with our medical development. For example, we can think of cold. Cold was also a illness which people considered as a harsh disease and even made people die. However, in the present, it can be dealed with a presctiption and some medicines. Like this, though there are a plenty of people who die for hazardous diseases, a medical environment will be better in the future.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Su In! Your ideas are clear and easy to understand, which is excellent. To reach a higher level, try to use slightly more precise or formal words, connect your sentences smoothly with linking phrases, and avoid expressions that sound a bit awkward. Overall, just focus on making your answer sound natural and confident.
~T. Jenna
Yes, absolutely. The study of science technology has developed even now.
>>Yes, absolutely. The study of science and technology has developed even now.
Therefore, even if there are some illnesses that can\'t be simply solved yet, we are able to expect that they would be coped with our medical development.
>>Therefore, even if there are some illnesses that can\'t yet be simply solved, we can expect that they will be managed with our medical development.
For example, we can think of cold.
>>For example, we can consider the common cold.
Cold was also a illness which people considered as a harsh disease and even made people die.
>>The cold was also an illness that people considered a harsh disease and that could even cause death.
However, in the present, it can be dealed with a presctiption and some medicines.
>>However, at present, it can be dealt with using a prescription and some medicines.
Like this, though there are a plenty of people who die for hazardous diseases, a medical environment will be better in the future.
>>In this way, though many people still die from hazardous diseases, the medical environment will improve in the future.
****
Yes, absolutely. Scientific and technological research has continued to advance to this day. Therefore, although some illnesses cannot yet be fully cured, we can expect that medical progress will enable us to manage them more effectively. For instance, the common cold was once regarded as a serious illness that could even be fatal. However, today it can be treated easily with medicines and prescriptions. In this way, although many people still die from serious diseases, we can anticipate significant improvements in healthcare in the future.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.