Do you think they should extend the retirement age in your country? Why or why not?
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Thank you Se [이름]!
~Teacher Lucy
The retirement age should be extended in Korea.
>>CORRECT!
>>In Korea, the retirement age should be extended.
First, the average life expectancy of Korea is 82.7 in 2018 and it has increased continuously.
>>CORRECT!
But, people usually retire at 62.8 in Korea.
>>CORRECT!
There are big gap about 20 years between life expectancy and retirement age.
>>There are big gaps about 20 years between life expectancy and retirement age.
If it is difficult to prepare after retirement during working, they should find new job.
>>CORRECT!
>>They should find new job if it is difficult to prepare after retirement during working.
But, it is also difficult because companies prefer a young worker than a old worker.
>>But, it is also difficult because companies prefer a young worker than an old worker.
Also, the birth rate of Korea is 0.977 in 2018 and it is at the bottom of OECD countries.
>>CORRECT!
My country manage the national pension through tax.
>>CORRECT!
>>My country manage the national pension through taxes.
If the birth rate reduce continuously, it is hard to operate the national pension no more because the number of people who pat taxes is reducing.
>>If the birth rate reduce continuously, it is hard to operate the national pension no more because the number of people who pay taxes is reducing.
Thus, the retiree also have a difficult about living.
>>CORRECT!
The speed of aging in my country is accelerating and property of old is becoming big social problem.
>>The speed of aging in my country is accelerating and number of oldies is becoming big social problem.
To extend retirement age is inevitable now.
>>CORRECT!
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.