Do you think Valentine\'s day is important? Why or why not?

2022-02-15 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

I\'ve never thought about Valentine\'s day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages. We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage. And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage. But some people mightn\'t get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it. Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously. People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance. So we have to respect other people\'s mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage. But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]:)

Valentine\'s day is a joyous occasion. It is a day when we can show our love towards other people like our family and friends. :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your first homework for today. You did an awesome job! I\'m so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I\'ve never thought about Valentine\'s day seriously, but I think there are some advantages and disadvantages.
>> CORRECT

We can express our hearts to other people, so this is the first advantage.
>> We can express our love to other people, so this is the first advantage.

And also we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.
>>Also, we can enjoy this event easily, so this is the other advantage.

But some people mightn\'t get chocolates from other people, so they can be depressed about it.
>> Some people don\'t receive chocolates from others so they feel depressed about it. 

Though we have a good purpose, if we could give some bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.
>> Though we have a good purpose, if we can cause bad emotions to other people, we have to think about it seriously.

People are all different, so we can feel differently about one circumstance.
>> All people are different, so we see things in different ways. 

So we have to respect other people\'s mind, and we have to think about this disadvantage.
>> So, we have to respect other\'s perspectives and think about the disadvantages as well. 

But for my personal opinion, I think it is a good event because it has a good purpose.
>> My personal opinion is that I think it is a good event due to its good purpose. 

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