Do you think veganism can help protect the environment? Why do you say so?

2020-03-10 · 첨삭 강사 Lucy

학생이 쓴 원문

Vegetarian is increased continuously all over the world. Some people don’t eat meat for their health and also others for protecting animals and environment. Although they start vegetarianism for different reasons, they can also effect positive effect to environment. First, we can reduce the amount of CO2. All animals emit the CO2 gas when they breathe. To produce a lot of meats, people raise livestock like pigs, cows, and chickens. Some area pay carbon tax because cows especially emit carbon dioxide more. So, if we reduce to eat these stocks, the amount of stocks to raise is also decreased. Also, we need a lot of energies when we raise livestocks like water, electricity, and heat. We can reduce to spend these energies. For example, when we are eats diversely, we spend water 10 times more than when we are vegetarian. Thus, vegetarians can reduce spending for environment. So, I think veganism can help to protect environmet.

강사 첨삭

Thank you Se [이름]!
~Lucy

Vegetarian is increased continuously all over the world.
>>CORRECT!
 Some people don’t eat meat for their health and also others for protecting animals and environment. 
>>CORRECT!
Although they start vegetarianism for different reasons, they can also effect positive effect to environment.
>>Although they start vegetarianism for different reasons, they can also give positive effect to the environment.
First, we can reduce the amount of CO2. 
>>CORRECT!
All animals emit the CO2 gas when they breathe.
>>CORRECT!
 To produce a lot of meats, people raise livestock like pigs, cows, and chickens.
>>CORRECT!
 Some area pay carbon tax because cows especially emit carbon dioxide more. 
>>CORRECT!
So, if we reduce to eat these stocks, the amount of stocks to raise is also decreased.
>>CORRECT!
Also, we need a lot of energies when we raise livestocks like water, electricity, and heat. 
>>Also, we need a lot of energies when we raise livestock like water, electricity, and heat. 
We can reduce to spend these energies.
>>CORRECT!
 For example, when we are eats diversely, we spend water 10 times more than when we are vegetarian.
>> For example, when we eat diversely, we spend water 10 times more than when we are vegetarian.
 Thus, vegetarians can reduce spending for environment.
>> Thus, vegetarians can reduce spending stuffs from the environment.
So, I think veganism can help to protect environmet.
>>So, I think veganism can help to protect the environment.

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