Does it really matter children spend times to read books, watch the TV and on the net.

2020-08-06 · 첨삭 강사 Sharon

학생이 쓴 원문

Today you said \'Time can be our the best friend but also can be the worst friend.\' I was very impressed and agree with this. Time is very important. If a person is child, time can be more important. I think the most important thing in one\'s childhood is to experience as much as possible. Reading books, watching the TV and spending times on the net can be indirect experience that the children can\'t do easily. In this part, doing these things give possitive influences to the children. However if the children spend too much times to do these things, it can be a devil. The children lost their time to experience directly. If they contact anything that can be a bad influence to them, it can be the worst.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]!
Great effort today!
This composition is pretty [이름]id.
For your work today, you need to focus on prepositions and word choice.
We want our compositions to be clear and easy to understand.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Today you said \'Time can be our the best friend but also can be the worst friend.\' 
>> Today, you said, \'Time can be our best or worst friend.\' 
I was very impressed and agree with this.
>> I was very impressed and I agree with this.
Time is very important. 
>> Correct
If a person is child, time can be more important.
>> For children, time can be more important.
I think the most important thing in one\'s childhood is to experience as much as possible.
>> Correct
Reading books, watching the TV and spending times on the net can be indirect experience that the children can\'t do easily.
>> Reading books, watching TV and spending time on the net can be considered indirect experience that children can\'t do easily.
In this part, doing these things give possitive influences to the children.
>> Engaging in said activities can be a positive influence on children.
However if the children spend too much times to do these things, it can be a devil.
>> However if children spend too much time on these things, it can cause more harm in their lives.
The children lost their time to experience directly.
>> It could be a waste of time for the children.
If they contact anything that can be a bad influence to them, it can be the worst.
>> The worst thing is encountering anything that could be a bad influence on them. 

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