Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life? Please explain your answer.
학생이 쓴 원문
Yes, it does. My hobby influences my work and personal life. For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. This experience made me understand what teamwork is. We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members\' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.
강사 첨삭
Thank you for your effort to answer the question genuinely, Shine. May you continue to develop productive hobbies.
-Faith-
Yes, it does. >> CORRECT
My hobby influences my work and personal life.
>> CORRECT
For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members.
>> For example, I am a music band member at my church, so I play the electronic keyboard and organize coffee chats for harmony among my band members.
This experience made me understand what teamwork is.
>> CORRECT
We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics.
>> We, all members, are different regarding artistic temperaments and characteristics.
In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members\' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses.
>> CORRECT
These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply.
>> These processes helped us make one team by knowing each other deeply.
Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss.
>> Thus, at my work, I am also in charge and play as a bridge among the team members or between the team members and our boss.
I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band.
>> CORRECT
Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably.
>> CORRECT
Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.
>> CORRECT
OR Hence, my hobby intervenes with my life immensely.
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