Don't worry
학생이 쓴 원문
Worry can not move even a small stone. A big tree which is in the peak of mountain in Colorado in the USA was fallen. The tree had not been fallen for 400 years even in the case of 14 thunders and lightnings and so many snowstroms and rainstorms. But the reason why the tree was fallen was digging by the ground beetles for a long time. The big tree which stand long time enduring snowstorms and rainstorms eventually was fallen by the tiny insect that is easily dead by the pressure of only finger tip. Like this, we can endure the thunders, snowstorms and rainstorm of life, but be easily nibbled our heart by the insect called "Worry". A monk in Japan named Ieeque was born as a child of concubine and became a famous monk. He said and gave a letter to his disciple who worry about the feture " If you were really in big troubles, look at this letter" Some times later, they were really in bing troubles and open the letter. There were only one word " Don't worry, it can be done somehow"
강사 첨삭
Hi there, Mr. [이름]! ^.^
Happy Thursday! ^^
I would like to say THANK YOU for the encouraging composition that you made.
It enlightened me that I shouldn\'t worry about things in my life.
The troubles I have will disappear. ^^
I am so moved because of your writing.
Well! ^^,
I will keep this short story in my mind.
Thanks a lot! ^^.
Anyway, happy reading! ^^
Enjoy your evening! ^^,
See ou tomorrow! ^^.
... Teacher Paula ... ^.~
Worry can not move even a small stone.
>> CORRECT!
A big tree which is in the peak of mountain in Colorado in the USA was fallen.
>> A big tree which was in the peak of a mountain in Colorado in the USA was fallen. (IS should be WAS. There should be A before MOUNTAIN.)
The tree had not been fallen for 400 years even in the case of 14 thunders and lightnings and so many snowstroms and rainstorms.
>> The tree had not been fallen for 400 years even in the case of 14 thunders and lightnings and so many snowstorms and rainstorms. (SNOWSTROMS should be SNOWSTORMS.)
But the reason why the tree was fallen was digging by the ground beetles for a long time.
>> I THINK WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IS: But, the reason why the tree fell was because of the beetles digging in the ground for a long time.
The big tree which stand long time enduring snowstorms and rainstorms eventually was fallen by the tiny insect that is easily dead by the pressure of only finger tip.
>> The big tree which stood long time enduring snowstorms and rainstorms eventually was fallen by the tiny insects that easily die by the pressure of only one finger tip. (INSECT should be INSECTS. DEAD should be DIE. There should be a QUANTIFIER before FINGER.)
Like this, we can endure the thunders, snowstorms and rainstorm of life, but be easily nibbled our heart by the insect called \"Worry\".
>> Like this, we can endure the thunders, snowstorms and rainstorms of life, but our hearts be easily nibbled by the insect called \"Worry.\" (RAINSTORM should be RAINSTORMS. OUR HEARTS should be placed after BUT. The DOT should be written before the CLOSE QUOTATION MARK.)
A monk in Japan named Ieeque was born as a child of concubine and became a famous monk.
>> A monk in Japan named Leeque was born as a child of a concubine and became a famous monk. (You should capitalize a person\'s name. There should be A before CONCUBINE.)
He said and gave a letter to his disciple who worry about the feture \" If you were really in big troubles, look at this letter\"
>> I THINK IT IS BETTER TO SAY: He said, \"If you were really in big troubles, look at this letter,\" and he gave a letter to his disciples who worry about the future.
Some times later, they were really in bing troubles and open the letter.
>> Some time later, they were really in big troubles and opened the letter. (TIMES should be TIME. BING should be BIG. OPEN should be OPENED.)
There were only one word \" Don\'t worry, it can be done somehow\"
>> I THINK WHAT YOU WANT TO SAY IS: There was only one word, and it means, \"Don\'t worry, it can be done somehow.\"
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