Due to population growth and environmental problems, should families have fewer kids?

2015-03-24 · 첨삭 강사 Nina

학생이 쓴 원문

It is the irony that some countries are making all-out efforts to raise the fertility rate, while others directly engage in birth control of their people. For instance, Korea has been suffering from the low birth rate and implemented many policies like giving cash to a family that delivers a baby, subsidizing the child care expense, etc. to encourage people to have a baby. Korea recorded the second lowest birth rate among 32 OECD countries. The low birth rate can cause a lot of social problems. Many advanced countries have been rapidly turning in to the aging society in which there are many silver citizens who do not participate in the economic activities and need support from young generation for their pension. Medical expenses that are to be covered by the government will increase as people live longer, while the number of tax payers and the tax revenue will decrease. While, for instance, until recently China has kept the one-child policy to control its population.

강사 첨삭

Good Tuesday Sir [이름]!

Well done with your composition.

I hope that you are doing fine today.

I think having one child in the family is good because you can give his/ her needs.

I\'m not against any side. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

But to be practical, we should really think about the future.

We should know if we can really provide a good life for our children.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

Teacher Nina

It is the irony that some countries are making all-out efforts to raise the fertility rate, while others directly engage in birth control of their people.

>> correct

>> It is ironic that some countries are making all-out efforts to raise the fertility rate, while others directly engage their people in contraceptives.

For instance, Korea has been suffering from the low birth rate and implemented many policies like giving cash to a family that delivers a baby, subsidizing the child care expense, etc. to encourage people to have a baby.

>> correct

>> Korea has been suffering from low birth rate and implemented many policies ,such as giving cash to a family that delivers a baby, subsidizing the child care expense and so on to encourage people to have a baby.

Korea recorded the second lowest birth rate among 32 OECD countries.

>> correct

>> Korea ranked the second lowest birth rate among 32 OECD countries.

The low birth rate can cause a lot of social problems.

>> Low birth rate can cause a lot of social problems.

Many advanced countries have been rapidly turning in to the aging society in which there are many silver citizens who do not participate in the economic activities and need support from young generation for their pension.

>> correct

>> Many advanced countries have been rapidly turning in to the aging society in which there are many senior citizens who don\'t participate in economic activities and need support from younger generation for their pension.

Medical expenses that are to be covered by the government will increase as people live longer, while the number of tax payers and the tax revenue will decrease.

>> correct

While, for instance, until recently China has kept the one-child policy to control its population.

>> correct

>> China has kept its one-child policy until recently to control its population.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기