e med

2019-09-20 · 첨삭 강사 Kate

학생이 쓴 원문

Teacher, Below sentence is just my instant answer to your homework. I recorded my voice in my smartphone.I re-write the sentence from the phone. Q)1. what is your good achievement? A1) It was five years ago.when i worked for keb hanabank department manager,The CEO of the bank launched new department when two banks merger at 1997. The role of the department was computer integration at that time. So, as you know, hana bank and keb bank had mergered at seven years ago. I nominated as new department manager. I had a burdensome as manager. I prepared integrated rule of computer system. After 3 ~4 months, we completed successfully computer integration. There was some minor error at the integration to bank computer system, but it was not big. I completed the computer integration. So my ceo said to thanks to me, he allow me to go some good university special course. Q2)How can you overcome your lonleliness? a2)As you know, I am outgoing person. I love exercise everyday.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]! 
Thank you for making your composition homework diligently. I found your answers very interesting to read. I corrected them the best way I could. See you on Monday! ^^
~~Teacher Kate

Q)1. what is your good achievement?

It was five years ago when i worked for keb hanabank department manager,
>>It was five years ago when I started working as a department manager for Keb Hana Bank.  
The CEO of the bank launched new department when two banks merger at 1997. 
>>The CEO of the bank launched a new department when the two banks merged in 1997. 
The role of the department was computer integration at that time. 
>>CORRECT!
So, as you know, hana bank and keb bank had mergered at seven years ago. 
>>So, as you know, hana bank and keb bank merged seven years ago. 
I nominated as new department manager.
>>I was nominated as the new department manager. 
I had a burdensome as manager. 
>>Being a manager was burdensome for me. 
I prepared integrated rule of computer system. 
>>I prepared integrated rules for the computer system. 
After 3 ~4 months, we completed successfully computer integration. 
>>After 3 to 4 months, we successfully completed the computer integration. 
There was some minor error at the integration to bank computer system, but it was not big.
>>There were some minor errors in the integration of the bank\'s computer system, but it was not big. 
I completed the computer integration. 
>>CORRECT! 
So my ceo said to thanks to me, he allow me to go some good university special course.
>>My CEO showed his thanks to me by allowing me to take a special course in a good university. 

Q2)How can you overcome your loneliness?

As you know, I am outgoing person. 
>>As you know, I\'m an outgoing person. 
I love exercise everyday.
>>I love exercising every day. 

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기

영어첨삭교정 ·