Eassy - Should Christmas be celebrated by Christian only?
학생이 쓴 원문
Basically, I respect all religions unless it is a false. When people want to be recognized, people have to recognize. So whoever you have any region, Christmas could be celebrated.
As you give a homework titled that, we can think why Christmas seems the global celebration regardless of regions and enthnicity(race). I think there are a few reasons.
One is the number of population of the christian both Protestant and Catholic in the world is 31%. If people live in any country in Europe or America, that percentage is much higher.
Second, those countries have influenced on culture and industrialization in other countries.
Lastly, it is the date of Christmas which is almost end of year. It is the time to reflect the year and plan for next year. At that time people easily be open and excited like a closing party of the big project.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Based on your ideas about the given topic, I would say that you are an optimistic person.
You sound really positive and modern.
Here are the corrections.
Basically, I respect all religions unless it is a false. When people want to be recognized, people have to recognize.
>>> Basically, I respect all religions unless it is a false. When people want to be recognized, the others would give that recognition.
So whoever you have any region, Christmas could be celebrated.
>>> So, whatever religion you have, Christmas could be celebrated.
As you give a homework titled that, we can think why Christmas seems the global celebration regardless of regions and enthnicity(race). I think there are a few reasons.
>>> Since you gave that as a homework, we can think why Christmas seems a global celebration regardless of religions and ethnicity or race. I think there are few reasons.
One is the number of population of the christian both Protestant and Catholic in the world is 31%.
>>> One is the number of population of Christians, both Protestant and Catholic in the world is 31%.
If people live in any country in Europe or America, that percentage is much higher.
>>> Correct!
Second, those countries have influenced on culture and industrialization in other countries.
>>> Correct!
Lastly, it is the date of Christmas which is almost end of year. It is the time to reflect the year and plan for next year.
>>> Lastly, Christmas day means almost the end of the year. It is the time to reflect the former year and plan for the next year.
At that time people easily be open and excited like a closing party of the big project.
>>> At that time, people easily be opened and excited because it feels like a closing party of the big project.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.