Eassy - Who influences a person more, a friend or family? Give situations.
학생이 쓴 원문
The person who influenced my life depends on the time.
Let me share one my story.
When I was young, my parents were key influencer. They wanted me to grow strong and independent.
One day, my father come to taekwondo studio which is Korean martial art and wanted to see me how I was good without any notification. It was very first time and I realized him standing on in front of the door. But I fell down in the game after I was hitted.
I thought of my father and tried to see my father. But he was gone.
Once I come back home, I pretended not to know that he was there and he also did not mention anything. I thought that he wanted me to overcome the situation myself.
So now, I grew up to be a self-reliant person.
강사 첨삭
Hi Mr. [이름]!
Nice to hear from your inspiring story. Your father was your inspiration back then.
And from my point of view, parents would always like their children to be strong and independent as you are.
But, every fathers are different. My dad had forsaken me when I was a kid.
So, I grew up to be independent, too.
Anyway, here are the corrections.
The person who influenced my life depends on the time.
>> Correct!
Let me share one my story.
>> Let me share one of my stories.
When I was young, my parents were key influencer. They wanted me to grow strong and independent.
>> When I was young, my parents were key influencers. They wanted me to grow strong and independent.
One day, my father come to taekwondo studio which is Korean martial art and wanted to see me how I was good without any notification.
>> One day, my father came to the taekwondo studio which is a Korean martial art and wanted to see how good I was without any notifications to him.
It was very first time and I realized him standing on in front of the door. But I fell down in the game after I was hitted.
>> It was the very first time and I realized he was standing in front of the door. But, I fell down in the game after I was hit.
I thought of my father and tried to see my father. But he was gone.
>> I thought of my father and tried to look at him again. But, he was gone.
Once I come back home, I pretended not to know that he was there and he also did not mention anything.
>> Once I came back home, I pretended not to know that he was there and he also did not mention anything.
I thought that he wanted me to overcome the situation myself.
>> Correct!
So now, I grew up to be a self-reliant person.
>> Correct!
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