Enjoy or save for earning money

2020-03-16 · 첨삭 강사 Melody

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear [Name], I have save the money that I and wife earn. Almost 10 years, we could not go to travel any where. So I bought a apartment without lones. Now after marriage, 21 years, I had six stores and one son. Of course I had no lones until now. I have many friends. They said you were a successful man. But I think still not. my wife and I have a dream for buying building in Seoul. so I will do my best to work this company for more money and my future. After 10 years, I am going to achiev it and will enjoy wuth money.

강사 첨삭

1. I have save the money that I and wife earn.
>>I have saved the money that me and my wife earned.

2. Almost 10 years, we could not go to travel any where.
>>For almost 10 years, we did not travel any where.

3. So I bought a apartment without lones.
>>So, I bought an apartment without loans.

4. Now after marriage, 21 years, I had six stores and one son.
>>Now after being married for 21 years, I have six stores and one son.

5. Of course I had no lones until now.
>>Of course, I have no loans until now.

6. I have many friends.
>>CORRECT
OR>>I have a lot of friends.

7. They said you were a successful man.
>>They said I was a successful man.

8. But I think still not.
>>But I think I\'m still not.

9. my wife and I have a dream for buying building in Seoul.
>>My wife and I have a dream of buying a building in Seoul.

10. so I will do my best to work this company for more money and my future.
>>So, I will do my best to work in this company for more money and my future.

11.After 10 years, I am going to achiev it and will enjoy wuth money. 
>>After 10 years, I am going to achieve it and I will enjoy with money. 

Good sentences.

- T. Melody ^^

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