Essay - How important was Christmas to me when I was young? And what about now?
학생이 쓴 원문
Christmas was the day I could get crackers and cookies. I obsessed about those a finger food. I was able to eat the finger food and also that was in the beautiful box. It seemed a special present. It was my Christmas which was very important and special.
What is my Christmas now?
I super focus on my kids Christmas. I have asked about the present they want to get for last two month. And I have prepared those gifts everyday and hid them out of sight. And then is my Christmas to be Santa Claus.
I know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist in the real world but I hope my kids believe in Santa Claus staying with the kids in the Christmas.
강사 첨삭
Hello Mr, [이름]!
I notice that some of your sentences have repeated SUBJECT. We call it \'REDUNDANCY\' in English.
Please refrain from repeating your subject in a sentence. In that case, you can use PRONOUNS as your substitute.
Take the last correction as an example.
Here are the corrections.
Christmas was the day I could get crackers and cookies.
>> Correct!
I obsessed about those a finger food.
>> I am obsessed about those finger foods.
I was able to eat the finger food and also that was in the beautiful box. It seemed a special present.
>>I was able to eat the finger food that was in the beautiful box. It seemed a special present.
It was my Christmas which was very important and special.
>> It was my Christmas that was very important and special.
I super focus on my kids Christmas. I have asked about the present they want to get for last two month.
>> I am ultimately focus on my kids\' Christmas. I have asked about the present they want to get last two months ago.
And I have prepared those gifts everyday and hid them out of sight. And then is my Christmas to be Santa Claus.
>> And, I have prepared those gifts everyday and hid them out of sight. And then, I\'ll act as a Santa Claus.
I know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist in the real world but I hope my kids believe in Santa Claus staying with the kids in the Christmas.
>> I know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist in the real world, but I hope my kids will believe in Santa Claus staying with them this Christmas.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.