Essay 1/27

2013-01-28 · 첨삭 강사 Leny

학생이 쓴 원문

I have often heard that sad story from my friends who work in athletic area. I think that this phenomenon is natural in place in which people live. Because people have a selfishness that a man keeps or has more his right that already has. The picture, "The rich get richer", is also affected to this habit. But though there is this bad habit, we have to resist it using tool like laws. Because the habit change a little bit step by step. Though they don't renew their behave, if we strongly continue attitude against their vice inborn, they can't help turning their attitude. They should be done without their knowledge. So I consent to make laws that decrease racism discrimination moreover sports.

강사 첨삭

Hi there Steve! Thanks for this reasonable and smart opinion that you\'ve written. Keep up the good work. I\'ll see you in class next week! - Teacher Leny I have often heard that sad story from my friends who work in the athletic area.>>> Correct. I think that this phenomenon is natural in place in which people live. >>> Correct. Because people have a selfishness that a man keeps or has more his right that already has. >>> Because a man have a selfishness that he keeps thinking that he has the right to do such. The picture, \"The rich get richer\", is also affected to this habit. >>> Correct.But though there is this bad habit, we have to resist it using a tool like laws. >>> Correct.Because the habit change a little bit step by step.>>> Correct. >>> Because a habit can be changed little by little. Though they don\'t renew their behave, if we strongly continue attitude against their vice inborn, they can\'t help turning their attitude. >>> Though they don\'t renew their behaviors, if we strongly recommend a change against their inborn attitude, everything will be fine. They should be done without their knowledge. >>> They should be doing it without their knowledge.So I consent to make laws that decrease racism discrimination moreover sports. >>> So I can allow that we will have a law to decrease racism discrimination in sports.

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