essay (1)

I worked in a karaoke for about 2 years as a branch manager in Seoul the place wasn't personal business that is chain business called Rock-q More introduce the karaoke a little bit, that is a biggest chain entertainment businesses in Korea like Pizza hut or Uniqlo. Anyway the place was a directly managed by my boss even though I was too young(my age was only 22) I walked as a branch manager at that. The reason why I was appointed as manager was that I used to work my boss's restaurant in 2008 to 2010 when I worked there I was working so hard that he thought highly of me frankly we didn't meet many times because he was CEO of his company. Naturally he was so busy. He rarely came there, when he saw me he always told me good words. Until I went to military I worked there for about a year and a half And after 2 year I was discharged from marine, I found another job and worked

Hi there!!! Your composition is very meaningful and sensible. You only forgot to put your punctuation marks. But otherwise, it was well done. Keep up the good work. And I hope to see more of your works. See you in our next class...^^ Take Care and have a great night. T. Jane^^ I worked in a karaoke for about 2 years as a branch manager in Seoul >>I wokred at a karaoke place for about 2 years as a branch manager in Seoul.the place wasn\'t personal business that is chain business called Rock-q>>The place wasn\'t a personal business, it was a chain of another business called Rock-q.More introduce the karaoke a little bit, that is a biggest chain entertainment businesses in Korea like Pizza hut or Uniqlo. >>To introduce the karaoke place a little bit more, it is one of the biggest entertainment business chain in Korea like Pizza Hut or Uniqlo.Anyway the place was a directly managed by my boss>>Anyway, the place is directly managed by my boss.even though I was too young(my age was only 22) I walked as a branch manager at that.>>Even though I was too young (my age was only 22) I worked as a branch manager at that.The reason why I was appointed as manager was that I used to work my boss\'s restaurant in 2008 to 2010>>The reason why I was appointed as manager was because I used to work at my boss\' restaurant in 2008 to 2010.when I worked there I was working so hard that he thought highly of me>>When I worked there, I was working so hard that he thought highly of me.frankly we didn\'t meet many times because he was CEO of his company.>>Frankly, we didn\'t meet many times because he was the CEO of the company.Naturally he was so busy. >>CorrectHe rarely came there, when he saw me he always told me good words. >>CorrectUntil I went to military I worked there for about a year and a half>>Until I went to the military where I worked for about a year and a half.And after 2 year I was discharged from marine, I found another job and worked >>And after 2 years, I was discharged from the marine and I found another job.