Essay

2023-04-14 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

[introduce your star] Have you ever seen figure skating performance? My favorite star is Kim Yuna, a queen of figure skating. She won medals in all competitions, so she set an all-podium record for the first time in woman figure skaters. I have known her since I was 7 years old. This is because I watched her performance and it looked a butterfly to be flying on the ice. Also I liked the attitude of not giving up though it was tired So I would like to resemble her patience. It is Because she practiced hard to achieve her goal even though it was hard. If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that your performance was the best thing that I have ever seen. Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice for another figure skater’s coach. (It must be more than 6 words and contain (v5 ) and (have pp)

강사 첨삭

Thanks for this as well [이름]! Don\'t hesitate to send me essays. I will gladly be checking them. Have a good day!

Have you ever seen figure skating performance?

>>> Have you ever seen figure skating performances?

>>> OR: Have you ever seen a figure skating performance?
My favorite star is Kim Yuna, a queen of figure skating.

>>> correct
She won medals in all competitions, so she set an all-podium record for the first time in woman figure skaters.

>>> correct
I have known her since I was 7 years old.

>>> correct
This is because I watched her performance and it looked a butterfly to be flying on the ice.

>>> This is because I watched her performance and it looked like a butterfly flying on the ice.

Also, I liked the attitude of not giving up though it was tired

>>> Moreover, I liked the attitude of not giving up though she was tired.

So I would like to resemble her patience.

>>> correct
It is because she practiced hard to achieve her goal even though it was hard.

>>> correct

If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that your performance was the best thing that I have ever seen.

>>> If I have a chance to meet her, I want to tell her that her performance was the best thing that I have ever seen.

Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice for another figure skater’s coach.

>>> Although she is not a figure skater anymore, I want to see her on the ice as another figure skater’s coach.
(It must be more than 6 words and contain (v5 ) and (have pp)

>>> ...

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

다른 영어첨삭교정 보기