Essay
학생이 쓴 원문
I admire people who are a patient and wise. As we go through life, we often face moments when we cannot patient. I think we are going to be a more better person and more greater person, if we got patient at that time. Of course, it is not good way to be patient all the time. Sometimes, there are people who ignore me. It is important to be patient but we also have to say what I need. That is a wise person. Passing uncomfortable situation well is important. Indecisive personality make me look down to other people. That’s why I admire a patient and wise person.
강사 첨삭
Hi again, Ji O!
I’ve included the edited version of your composition below. Thank you for submitting your homework.
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Jean~~
I admire people who are a patient and wise.
>>> I admire people who are patient and wise.
>>> OR: I look up to people who show patience and wisdom.
As we go through life, we often face moments when we cannot patient.
>>> As we go through life, we often face moments when we struggle to be patient.
>>> OR: Life brings moments when it’s hard to stay patient.
I think we are going to be a more better person and more greater person, if we got patient at that time.
>>> I think we become better and wiser if we stay patient during those times.
Of course, it is not good way to be patient all the time.
>>> Of course, it is not always a good idea to be patient.
Sometimes, there are people who ignore me.
>>> OR: I’ve experienced being ignored by some people.
It is important to be patient but we also have to say what I need.
>>> It is important to be patient, but we also have to express what we need.
>>> OR: Being wise means knowing when to be patient and when to speak.
That is a wise person.
>>> That is what makes a person wise.
Passing uncomfortable situation well is important.
>>> Handling uncomfortable situations well is important.
Indecisive personality make me look down to other people.
>>> An indecisive personality makes me look down on others.
>>> OR: Indecisiveness sometimes makes me lose respect for others.
That’s why I admire a patient and wise person.
>>> OR: This is why I value patience and wisdom in others.
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