essay
학생이 쓴 원문
I will satisfy if a 4-day workweek would improve. But all of people will not agree with me. Here are some work-life balance benefits that I think would help with the 4-day workweek. First, people who like to take a rest are getting a chance to being at home, and who like to go out are getting a chance to meet their friends or go on place where they want to go as leisure time increases. It is high work-life balance for them. Second, waiting the five days coming up to the weekend can feel like a long, so people tend to feel hanging down even on Wednesdays and Thursdays. However, if the upcoming on the weekend is one day earlier, the wait will be reduced, which could change people\'s mindset. Third, increased leisure time can lead to increased consumption which related industries like culture, leisure, and travel.
강사 첨삭
Good eve, Ji O!
Thank you for submitting your homework. Below is the edited version of your composition.
Please take a moment to review the changes I’ve made. Catch you tomorrow.
Cheers,
Jean~~
I will satisfy if a 4-day workweek would improve.
>>> I would be satisfied if a 4-day workweek were implemented.
But all of people will not agree with me.
>>> However, some people may disagree with my view.
Here are some work-life balance benefits that I think would help with the 4-day workweek.
>>> Here are some work-life balance benefits I believe a 4-day workweek could offer.
First, people who like to take a rest are getting a chance to being at home, and who like to go out are getting a chance to meet their friends or go on place where they want to go as leisure time increases.
>>> First, with more free time, homebodies can relax at home, and social butterflies can spend time with friends or explore new places.
It is high work-life balance for them.
>>> This contributes to a better work-life balance for them.
Second, waiting the five days coming up to the weekend can feel like a long, so people tend to feel hanging down even on Wednesdays and Thursdays.
>>> Second, waiting five days for the weekend can feel long, and people often feel drained by midweek.
>>> OR: Midweek fatigue is common, making the wait for the weekend feel endless.
However, if the upcoming on the weekend is one day earlier, the wait will be reduced, which could change people\'s mindset.
>>> An earlier weekend might help people stay energized and focused.
Third, increased leisure time can lead to increased consumption which related industries like culture, leisure, and travel.
>>> Third, increased leisure time can lead to higher consumption, benefiting industries such as culture, entertainment, and travel.
>>> OR; A shorter workweek could stimulate economic activity in leisure-related industries.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.