essay
학생이 쓴 원문
These days e-sports is not a simple game, it can be a career direction such as pro-gamer or broadcaster. It requires not only gaming skills but also teamwork, sportsmanship and strong mentality that is important. So, if there are someone who can provide coaching will be big help to them who want to be a career in e-sports.
강사 첨삭
I appreciate your turning in your homework promptly, Ji O! I’ve made some edits to your composition; take a look when you can. Do enjoy the rest of your Friday evening!
Cheers,
Jean~~
These days e-sports is not a simple game, it can be a career direction such as pro-gamer or broadcaster.
>>> These days, e-sports is more than just playing games; it can be a career choice, like becoming a professional gamer or a broadcaster.
It requires not only gaming skills but also teamwork, sportsmanship and strong mentality that is important.
>>> It requires not only gaming skills but also teamwork, sportsmanship, and a strong mentality.
So, if there are someone who can provide coaching will be big help to them who want to be a career in e-sports.
>>> Therefore, having someone who can provide coaching would be a big help to those who want a career in e-sports.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.