essay (3)
학생이 쓴 원문
My best friend of mine lately opened his shop with his girl friend.
It's a small convenience store.
But you know knew that convenience store is open around the clock for 365 days
They need to hire part time worker especially daybreak time.
But they spent whole money for opening this convenience store so that they couldn't afford to hire some one.
So they have to work for 12 hours each other.
Worked for 12 hours, made my friend being exhausted and worn out besides worked at night to morning.
Because this is too dangerous to work at night for woman. so he was unwilling to work at night every day.
I took a pity on him so I decided to help him and not to receive any money, until going to the Philippines. I have only 3 weeks left.
But instead of receiving money I ate all of food in there for free.
I thought I ate lots of Sandwiches to excess that I stomach ache.
강사 첨삭
Thank you very much for having some time to write a composition. I think your friend is very lucky to have you.
Just don\'t eat a lot for you not to get sick. Have fun!
T. Jane
My best friend of mine lately opened his shop with his girl friend.
>>My bestfriend just opened his shop with his girlfriend.It\'s a small convenience store.
>>Correct!But you know knew that convenience store is open around the clock for 365 days
>>But you know already that convenience store is open around the clock for 365 days.They need to hire part time worker especially daybreak time.
>>They need to hire a part time worker especially during day time.But they spent whole money for opening this convenience store so that they couldn\'t afford to hire some one.
>>But they have spent their whole money in opening this convenience store so,they couldn\'t afford to hire someone.So they have to work for 12 hours each other.
>>Correct!Worked for 12 hours, made my friend being exhausted and worn out besides worked at night to morning.
>>Working for 12 hours made my friend exhausted and worn out. He work at night until morning.Because this is too dangerous to work at night for woman. so he was unwilling to work at night every day.
>>Because it\'s dangerous to work at night for a woman, he was willing to work at night everyday.I took a pity on him so I decided to help him and not to receive any money, until going to the Philippines. I have only 3 weeks left.
>>I feel pity on him so I decided to help him and not to receive money until I go to the Philippines. I only have 3 weeks left.But instead of receiving money I ate all of food in there for free.
>>But instead of receiving money, I ate all food that I wanted in there for free.I thought I ate lots of Sandwiches to excess that I stomach ache.
>>I think I ate a lot of sandwiched to extent that I had a stomachache.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.