essay~~

2013-10-04 · 첨삭 강사 Aimee

학생이 쓴 원문

I think that using the social-networking sites is good for knowing each other. But some people compare their life with others life, and they never satisfy with their life. Also some one just upload their picture to show off their life. And they spend much time to use them. I think that is not good for their life. Some people feel nervous when they don't use social-networking, maybe it has addictiveness. I heard that many students don't concentrate on their classes, so it is a problem especially in th school. I don't want to waste of my time, so I don't much use them. But using sometimes, it is a good way to contact with my friends.

강사 첨삭

Good morning [이름] Na!

Finally! You get to send me this easy.^^

Yep social networking is very very popular these days.

Many people are getting addicted with it, specially when Smart-phones came out.

It is just a matter of self control. Also, one should be responsible in posting something.

Good composition. I think you really thought about it. hehehe

See you later.

Always,

~Aimee^^

I think that using the social-networking sites is good for knowing each other.

>> Correct

But some people compare their life with others life, and they never satisfy with their life.

>> But some people try to compare their life with others that is why they are never satisfied with their life.

Also some one just upload their picture to show off their life.

>> Also, some people try to upload their p[pictures just to show off.

And they spend much time to use them.

>> And they spend a lot of time using them.

I think that is not good for their life.

>> Correct

Some people feel nervous when they don\'t use social-networking, maybe it has addictiveness.

>> Some people feel nervous whenever they don\'t log in to their social networks, maybe because of addictiveness.

I heard that many students don\'t concentrate on their classes, so it is a problem especially in th school.

>> I heard that many students don\'t concentrate on their classes that is why it is a major problem in schools.

I don\'t want to waste of my time, so I don\'t much use them.

>> I don\'t want to waste my time, so I don\'t use it much.

But using sometimes, it is a good way to contact with my friends.

>> But sometimes it is a good to be in contact with my friends.

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