Essay

Good morning [이름]!

I\'m glad that you are doing well in English. I commend you for your improvements.

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Please, check the corrections that I\'ve made so that you\'ll not commit the same mistake.

~T. Jeny

There must be many reasons and things that why and how important is fashion today compared to the past, but I will just focus on two things in this write.

>>There must be many reasons and factors why and how fashion is important today compared in the past, but I will just focus on two things on this essay.

First of all, I will mention of the purpose(aim) of fashion that each of past and today.

>>First of all, I will talk about the purpose (aim) of fashion to the past and from today.

In the past, let me take an example for the time when the class was exist.

>>In the past, let me take an example at the time when the class in the society existed.

 In those civilization, mostly, the fashion was different to differentiate their classes but right now, the fashion is not just a fashion,

it is also one person\'s personality, characters, and to total themselves.

>>During that civilization, fashion was mostly differentiated by their class but now, fashion is not just fashion, it reflects a person\'s personality, character and as a person.

 Because of this reason, in the past, there was no way to put on some unique clothes for ordinary people.

>>Because of this reason, there was no way for the ordinary people to put on unique clothes.

 It was just same old, same old....Nowadays compared to this, people put on many kind of unique clothes.

>>It was just the same old story, but nowadays, people put on many kinds of unique clothes.

And also advanced entertainment industry and photo technology made people to buy much more clothes so now its uniqueness, in other word, \'fashion\' is needed important compared to the past.

>>And also advanced entertainment industry and photo technology made people buy more unique clothes, in other words, \'fashion\',  it is indeed important compared to the past.

Second, in the past, there was not enough technology to make materials and cloth.

>>Secondly, there wasn\'t enough technology to make materials and cloth in the past.

So it was very constricted to make any clothes.

>>correct

 But nowadays, there are many and infinitive ways to make material and cloth and it has indeed boundless potential.

>>But nowadays, there are many and infinitive ways to make materials and clothes on a boundless potential.

We now can find many ways to make various materials and cloth.

>>We now can find many ways to make various materials and clothes.
 So the fashion industry was fast grown, so that needs more people to work in fashion industry.

>>So the fashion industry has grown fast and they also need more people to work in the fashion industry.
and that is why fashion is more important now compared to the past.

>>correct