Essay

Hello [이름],

Having the courage to push yourself in writing an essay can be a big step for you to improve your skills, even if the topics could be sometimes difficult. The most important thing to do is to create a plan and follow that plan. Start with your English learning goals, and then make a specific plan to succeed.

I believe that you can create better sentences now but you have to be careful of your sentence construction.

 Be mindful of your corrections so that you\'ll not commit the same mistake.

Great day ahead!!!!

T. Jeny

Do people spend too much time and money on beauty?
>>correct
Definitely, Yes.

>>correct

Even I spend from 2 to 4 hours to make up every morning.

>>I even spend 2 to 4 hours to do my make-up every morning.

And to make up perfectly, I need too many cosmetics, tools and skills.

>>And to have a perfect make-up, I need many cosmetics, tools, and skills.

So sometimes I watch the videos of beauty youtuber, or search about skills.

>>So sometimes, I watch videos like beauty youtuber or search about skill in putting on some make-up.

And after I watch such like that, it always make me buy the things those were in that video.

>>After watching, I always buy the things that I have seen on the video.

Then, of course, it makes me spend too much money.

>>correct

Even when it comes the performance day, because I am a vocalist, it takes almost 6 hours to fully make u and finish styling my hair.

>>Even when I have a performance because I am a vocalist, it takes me almost 6 hours to fully put-on make-up and finished styling my hair.
There would be many people they are not, but I think most of girls, especially in Korea, spend too much time and money on beauty.

>>There would be many people who are not like me but I think most girls, especially in Korea, spend too much time and money on beauty.