Essay
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hi Marcela! Thank you for completing your homework. I enjoyed reading your work. Check out my corrections. Have a good day!~~T.Dee
1.Busan is famous for its international film festival, and many tourists come to Haeundae Beach and Gwangalli Beach.
>>Busan is famous for its international film festival. Many tourists come to Haeundae Beach and Gwangalli Beach.
(It is better to make two sentences here so that you can express two different thoughts more clearly)
Especially in summer, many people come to enjoy their vacation, so they are full of energy.
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: In summer, particularly, many people come to enjoy their vacation that\'s why they are full of energy.
2. I like summer vacation better than winter vacation.
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: I prefer summer vacation than the winter vacation.
The reason is that summer is hot, but you can go to the cool sea and enjoy playing in the water, and you can eat watermelon, the fruit of summer.
>>The reason is that although summer is hot, you can go to the sea to cool down and enjoy playing in the water. You can also can eat watermelon, the fruit of summer.
And summer clothes are too light.
>>Also, summer clothes are very light.
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