ESSAY: Do you think people have less goals as they get older? Explain your answer.
학생이 쓴 원문
I don\'t think getting older lead people to have less goal. Besides, I believe people build more goals as they get older. I have more goals now than I was young. For example, when I was a student I couldn\'t make money and couldn\'t be independent from my parents. So back then, only one goal of mine was to go to good university. But now, since I\'m making money, I got married and I have free time to do anything I want, I have a lot of goals that I want to do. Plus, as we get older we learn from our life. And experiences from someone\'s life could lead him/her to have more goals, not dreams. Young people have a lot of dreams which are more ideal and sometimes unrealistic. In comparison, mature adult people would have more specific goals that could be possible to accomplish.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름] [이름],
Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you.
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)
Do you think people have less goals as they get older? Explain your answer.
I don\'t think getting older lead people to have less goal.
>>> I don\'t think getting older leads people to have less goals.
Besides, I believe people build more goals as they get older.
>>> CORRECT
I have more goals now than I was young.
>>> Now, I have more goals than when I was young.
For example, when I was a student I couldn\'t make money and couldn\'t be independent from my parents.
>>> For example, when I was a student I couldn\'t make my own money and couldn\'t be independent of my parents.
So back then, only one goal of mine was to go to good university.
>>> So back then, the only goal of mine was to go to a good university.
But now, since I\'m making money, I got married and I have free time to do anything I want, I have a lot of goals that I want to do.
>>> But now, since I\'m already making my own money, I got married and I have free time to do anything that I want; I have a lot of goals that I want to do.
Plus, as we get older we learn from our life.
>>> CORRECT
Also, the experiences from someone\'s life could lead him/her to have more goals, not only dreams.
>>> CORRECT
Young people have a lot of dreams which are more ideal and sometimes unrealistic.
>>> CORRECT
In comparison, mature adult people would have more specific goals that could be possible to accomplish.
>>> In comparison, mature adult people would have more specific goals that is possible to accomplish.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.