ESSAY: If you could change the past, would you do it? What would you change?

2019-02-07 · 첨삭 강사 Irene

학생이 쓴 원문

Thesedays, due to advanced technology, many people imagine delightly what to do if they have opportunity to change the past. If I have chance to change the past, I would like to do two tasks. First of all, I will predict disasters date and time and notify to people who is likely to undergo bad events. Same to other countires, Many koreans also had terrible events which was happened by human. I strongly believe that if someone take care of accident circumstance in advance, it is prevented thorougly. Next, I would like to buy lots of flats and lands in advance when it presented reasonable prices. Nowadays, apartment prices is much more higher than before in seoul, the capital of korea. I expect that having not only a lot of money but also living places with nice liver views and convenient facilities. Besides that, I would donation the lands to establish new houses for homeless. It is one of the my dreams I had when I was a volunteer for social vulnerable class.

강사 첨삭

Hello Kelly!  Happy Lunar New Year!  We\'re back again! ^_^
~T. Irene~
These days, due to advanced technology, many people imagine delightly what to do if they have opportunity to change the past.
>>>  These days, due to advance technology, many people are excited about the idea of being able to change the past.
 If I have chance to change the past, I would like to do two tasks.
>>>   If I have the chance to change the past, I would like to fix two things.
 First of all, I will predict disasters date and time and notify to people who is likely to undergo bad events.
>>>    First of all, I would want to be able to predict the exact time and date that disasters may happen. This way, I can notify people who are likely to suffer from the bad events.
Same to other countires, Many koreans also had terrible events which was happened by human.
>>>  Similar to other countries, Korea also experienced human-caused calamities.
>>>  Similar to other countries, Korea also experienced calamities caused by human-error.
I strongly believe that if someone take care of accident circumstance in advance, it is prevented thorougly.
>>>  I strongly believe that if we could deal with the event in advance then it can be prevented.
 Next, I would like to buy lots of flats and lands in advance when it presented reasonable prices. 

>>> The next thing I would like to change is buying a lot of flats and lands in advance when the prices were reasonable. 
Nowadays, apartment prices is much more higher than before in seoul, the capital of korea.
>>>  Nowadays, apartment prices here in Seoul, the capital of South Korea, are much more higher than in the past.
I expect that having not only a lot of money but also living places with nice liver views and convenient facilities.
>>>  I want to have a lot of money and live in a place with a nice river view with convenient facilities around.
Besides that, I would donation the lands to establish new houses for homeless.
>>>  Besides that, I would like to donate some lands to build new houses for homeless people.
It is one of the my dreams I had when I was a volunteer for social vulnerable class. 
>>>  It was one of my dreams when I was a volunteer for the social vulnerable class.
 

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