ESSAY: Many jobs require ongoing training and research to stay competitive in a world with rapidly e
학생이 쓴 원문
I am absolutely agree that we are placed in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology. The phone which I bought today becomes a old version tomorrow. It comes out new ones day by day. Therefore, even if we don\'t have a job, we need to adjust in this circumstances. My opinion is that people voluntarily train themselves in the world continuing developing . However, if a staff need trains to help his tasks , his company should pay for his own training fee. I think it is necessary to support up only partly as company\'s welfare.
강사 첨삭
Happy Friday [이름]! You were fast in writing your essay! Keep it up! Have a nice day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I am absolutely agree that we are placed in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology.
>>> I absolutely agree that we are living in a world with rapidly evolving information and technology.
The phone which I bought today becomes a old version tomorrow.
>>> The phone which I bought today would be an old version tomorrow.
It comes out new ones day by day.
>>> New ones come out day by day.
Therefore, even if we don\'t have a job, we need to adjust in these circumstances.
>>> CORRECT
My opinion is that people voluntarily train themselves in the world continuing developing.
>>> My opinion is that people voluntarily train themselves in the world that\'s developing continuously.
However, if a staff need trains to help his tasks , his company should pay for his own training fee.
>>> However, if a staff need trainings to help his tasks , his company should pay for his own training fee.
I think it is necessary to support up only partly as company\'s welfare.
>>> I think it is necessary to partly support company\'s welfare.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.